the gods must be crazy

i watched this film tonight and enjoyed it as i always do. the dvd had a documentary on it about the bushman star. i decided to watch it.

it has broken my heart.

i suppose i am the worst possible kind of idealist; someone who will embrace the pretty and peaceful and hope that it is real rather than look very deep (for fear it is not).

the idyllic life painted in the movie was, of course, pure fantasy. the bushman have not lived in such ways for a very, very long time.

instead, the first piece of the documentary, filmed in 1990, found this ‘star’ starving along with his tribe in the town of nyae nyae, near botswana. the entire tribe in transition, somewhere between their roots and the ‘civilization’ we know today.

he spoke of how the people who found him working at the little school told him that making the movie would bring good things to his people… so he did it. and even at this distance, the puzzlement and frustration in his face was an obvious thing.

the documentary maker said he left feeling disillusioned. i suppose i am not the only idealist in the world. that is comfort…. somewhat.

a later update to the documentary, filmed in 2003, found the fellow finally, actually receiving royalties for his work in the movie. it was not mentioned, but i had the distinct impression that the fellow who filmed the first piece may well have done something to see that justice served. i cannot know, of course, but the difference between the 1990 and 2003 pieces is marked and decidedly positive.

the village now has schools, electricity, and even internet access and laptops. the children are being taught to read and write both in their native language as well as english and the community leaders encourage them to learn as much as they can about computers so they can help themselves and their families.

the faces were smiling. i like to think it is an improvement. but part of me finds it so very ironic that the bottle form the sky that created so much suffering is a fairly apt analogy for the introduction of technology and all the things required to keep it running.

the first fifteen minutes of that movie, idealistic or not, resonated very deeply here. particularly the parts about how, in the effort to increase our leisure time and ability to create environments that would not require so much work, we have accomplished quite the opposite.

but the thing that struck me deepest and hardest was when they asked the bushman if he would like to see the 1990 video documentary. he said yes. they showed it to him and he then told them that he was both happy and sad…. because in that video was his late wife.

the translator asked him if he felt odd to see himself so much younger. and it was then that he said something very insightful indeed. he said, “people see me as younger. people see me as older. but it is still the same heart and mind. people see me differently, but i do not change.”

it made me cry. and smile. he obviously took pleasure in knowing that in the end, his participation did, in fact, bring good things for his people.

i find i regret that the lifestyle shown in the film does not exist. i also find the title of the film so very apt on so many levels. surely if there are gods, they are undoubtedly crazy. if not from being of our own creation, then from the various things we visit upon one another in the name of anything from progress to peace.

i find myself wishing i had not watched the documentaries. does it sound terrible that i wanted to keep that illusion of happy bushman living peaceful lives? that it might be possible yet somewhere on this planet to have a life that doesn’t have the yolk of cultural servitude attached?

perhaps, for all my geekiness, i really am a luddite at heart. or perhaps i’m just that much an idealist to think it could be possible to have such a life anymore. hard to say.

sometimes i think the reason i am always hovering on the edge of unhappiness is simply because i am too busy seeing what could be to find any delight in what is. one of the many ways in which i am broken… perhaps beyond repair. to be sure i do not have what it takes. and if i don’t… who else possible can?

there’s a bit of a struggle happening here. it’s nothing that hasn’t been here all along, so no sense repeating it. i’m letting go of things. or at least, i think i am. i suppose it remains to be seen. i’m trying.

N and P are seeing to things. i can’t quite hand it all off. not yet anyway. i guess i’m still idealistic in this regard, too.

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