Genre: Any
Lyric:
last sunday he has turned age 43
miss him each day since he was a baby
hard to “make believe” or “come what may” me
too much time in the way and then another baby
when young, I was so stupidly naive
now old, I wish I could still believe
damned if I did or I didn’t as well
you-ness tried hard to consign me to hell
gave up my son trying to stabilize
knew there would be decades of poisoned lies
thought the records would overcome deceit
he won’t read them, lays it all at my feet
no one ever thinks or talks about the ugly, hard truth
no family, no friends, no help, and me a stupid youth
never managed anything more than the temporary
never wondered if they were scared because yeah, shit scary
didn’t have what they needed, no way to get it, either
couldn’t be their feeder, could not be Mrs. Cleaver
In this, I was quite far from being all alone
Both fathers happy to sit back and cast stones
now and over decades they passed on me
no matter how I struggled, never free
they all say and think its a mental spree
don’t know bout me, see, grass was never green
that this is my truth, was never in doubt
that you saw it too, should not lose its clout
rather that myself, who you claimed to love
to you more itself, thing to hold in glove
now is its own proof, your egos to rout
no blame in my walking, your argument moot
by no just law does this punishment fit the crime
choosing what’s best for them meant leaving them behind
everyone says this is true, so why then begrudge and curse?
I did not otherwise, and we all agree that would have been worse.
so damned that I did not and also that I did
now they’re grown, on their own or they have gotten wed
now they’re gone, I’m on my own, ever family forbid
seeking the same as ever, openly and never have I hid
yet still I remain, the same now as every day of my life
love and miss my kids and begrudge the decades of strife
just not enough to continue being their father’s wife
ASCAP registration #: 925568711