her surgery is postponed. apparently, she has a light infection that must be dealt with before they are willing to proceed. i am at once relieved and annoyed. there is at least a week now until this is done, if there is no change in determination. but the annoyance rises from the taking of time from work and hassles of making it almost to the place only to receive the call saying it is postponed.
i chuckle at myself. part of me annoyed for the delay while the other sings and capers happily for hope it may yet be set completely from possibility. i suppose i am much too hopeful for such a thing. i remind myself the intent to remove this word and find i cannot. i forgive myself, noting it only briefly before continuing the train of thought.
i am angry in part at the doctor who, in a position to counsel and uphold some degree of ethics, might tell an 18 year old girl to wait to make such a life-altering decision. but i remind myself that she is as stubborn as i, and would likely only go elsewhere, eventually finding someone less ethical still, and perhaps not as well certified or capable.
in all things, as it should be, i suppose.
more later, i’m sure.