the Dalai Lama said, “if you are going to be selfish, be wisely selfish – give to others.” everything you give, according to the law of karma, will come back to you multiplied many times.
wisely selfish. an intriguing thought. many things occurring in the space this item was encountered in tonight’s reading, and most of them immediately to reject the notion of ‘wise selfishness’ even as the meaning of the above seems obvious and void of the calculation that looks, at face value, to be explicit.
one of my favorite personal sayings is a question that works as well as a statement of what i find a profound thing, ‘what is the difference between altruism and charity? charity does not require that you bleed.’
altruism is the public bleeding that seeks reward of the world, of humanity, and seems to be of the calculated manner of being ‘wisely selfish’.
charity is a private thing, perhaps only known between two, perhaps wholly secret and never known but to the one giving it and seems a more true and compassionate thing.
there are few things done for others that are altruistic here. and it is slightly discomforting to mention that all things undertaken with regard to others is intended to be charity. to even mention it seems of that public manner of seeking recognition or approval and such is anathema to the very breath of charity.
many people will do a thing to tell you they have done it. many people will deliver aid to say they were of that sort who would deliver. many people will share tales of how they displayed some grand tenderness to exemplify their goodness. these are not the things of charity.
a cherished friend of many years once told me, ‘all things undertaken by humans are undertaken to find the comfort of validation, be it through the praise of others, the reward found through the undertaking, or the feeling of goodness that arises from the undertaking.’
it seemed a very cynical thing for someone to say, let alone believe. but perhaps altruism is a thing that can only exist when there is reward, the slicing of one’s flesh before the crowd as evidence of willingness to sacrifice to it, and the tender mercies of the crowd in the aftermath but a means by which to insure all survive so all may again bleed at need.
charity refuses the applause, the validation and these specious tender mercies. it foregoes even the three motivations my cynical friend sets forth. there is no interest or intent in the reaction of the universe to it. there is no motivation toward one end or another that the charitable act seeks. there is no aspiration toward future merit in it.
charity may be known not by others and not by confirmation… charity is known only in that it is because it must be, and, free of all things, it is the mindful gift that, in every moment, is filled with compassion.
the words of the Dali Lama are clever and give learning. in speaking of wise selfishness, they set into relief the difference between what is to be wise and what is to be selfish, and exhort others to undertake even that altrusitic effort so that perhaps, in some moment, a glimpse of the difference may be found and, like the soft light of sunrise, lead one to charity.