tomorrow is my birthday. i will be 41. i take the day off each year and spend it contemplating the year just past, and this year will be no exception. i begin that process early this year. it seems fitting.
the last year has seem some fairly amazing changes in life. the end of the shadowed valley i have walked for the last six years, and a return to something approximating normalcy. i find myself lightly surprised, for as it occurred, it did not seem such huge steps were being made… but in looking back, the changes are truly profound.
i have gainful employment. i have my own place to live. it is furnished. (chuckle)
my daughter and i are once more close.
i have good friends who cherish me and appreciate me and permit me to both give and receive care and love.
i have generally good health.
i have a sense of peace and comfort that were sorely lacking for the five years prior.
i have a strong sense of center and balance as a result of my continuing discoveries in buddhism.
many blessings. many good things. i give thanks to the universe for them all. deep thanks, humbled by its care of me.
there have also been sorrows and losses… but in a shift that is relatively new, i choose not to grant them space in my memories but to nod briefly in their direction and say to myself, ‘it is good to accept the truth that is impermanence.’
tonight, i watch a movie with a friend, and create in place of a sad memory a more happy one. i find much joy in transmuting these last, small hurts into something more worthy, something that supports looking ahead instead of behind.
tomorrow, my daughter visits and we spend the day enjoying one another. i am looking forward to it.
life is good. i am thankful to be so richly blessed. may the coming year lend me insight to how best to set my mind, hand, and heart to the benefit of others. it seems a good aspiration upon the eve of a birthday. i smile. may all beings benefit.