today was Sean’s birthday. we gathered at the local spot, where we shoot pool and hang out. laughter, smiles, and warm wishes, a good outing. they are heading into downtown for more intense partying. i, turn to home. but not before handing a gift to him. i liked the look of surprise, and how it intensified when he discovered it was something he could actually use and did, in fact, need.
he told me he felt badly because he had not gotten me anything. i shook my head and smiled. he should know by now it isn’t about that. rather than scold him, i simply told him to hush before i pulled his nipple off. heh. language he understands, message of care and not caring about some silly scorecard. the moment passed.
it is good to have good friends. i find myself wishing they were older, or me, younger, so we could spend more time together. so much of what they enjoy leaves me cold, and while to watch them enjoy it would bring me enjoyment, there are limits. the noise and alcohol i have grown out of enduring. ah well.
i have been perusing local listing for happenings of a sort i would enjoy. and i think to make a small schedule of excursions for the coming month. poet slams, live music, gallery openings, maybe a play… maybe two. the idea of getting out and about is enjoyable, the idea of possibly making new friends, friends in proximity, people who aren’t confused and stumbling for distance… that’s a very nice thought, indeed.
no rush. not going to push myself. a step at a time. for now, to contemplate is enough.
i must say, it is good to feel like i’m ready to live again.