great news. the unemployment office won’t allow me to file without a copy of my last paystub. four hours at the department of labor with no results has done little to improve my mindset.
spent the morning sending out resumes and there are a few that look really good. hoping to hear back from them by week’s end. in the meantime, planning on heading down to the local retail and food outlets if there’s no bites by thursday.
i cannot afford to go past the fifteenth without some manner of income. that’s the red flag day. after that, it’s all about missing rent which will begin the slow spiral into disaster.
i’m trying not to think about it, but it is difficult. i have nowhere to turn. i have no one to lean on. what friends i do have are at distance and in no position to offer more than verbal support.
the friends who are local are in that awkward place and rapidly withdrawing. painful, but i cannot afford to spend much energy on being hurt by it.
this isn’t the first time i have been acutely aware of just how alone i really am. but i must say, the weight of it is getting heavier.
addendum, 12:48pm – just got email from the company. it was a layoff. lack of work. they are preparing the paystub and separation notice, which i can pick up tomorrow. relief in it is profound. this means there will be at least something coming in as i look for work… which averts disaster. i am so thankful i am crying.