obligatory entry. not much to tell. well, there is, but it’s all game related, which makes it ‘not life’ and i’m working on putting a little more distance between the two of late.
the interview on tuesday has me cautiously optimistic. i’m hoping there is a chance for full-time work rather than only seasonal. i intend to ask. the most they can say is ‘no’, right?
not much else to report, really. everything else is quiet as usual. i got out of the apartment for a bit yesterday, but oddly, being outside brings anxiety these days. i am reminded of my maternal grandfather, who was agoraphobic. i never knew it, but had always wondered why he never went outside or, when he did, he always seemed really uncomfortable.
interesting what sparks memory. my younger sister and i, on those rare occasions when we got to visit with these grandparents, used to gambol in the fenced back yard with their golden retriever. his name was sambo. he was… a glorious, loving animal. i remember we used to dress him up in the most ridiculous things. he just sat there, tail wagging, and endured it. i think may actually have a shot of him in one of my grandfather’s vests, with one of his fedoras on his head, and a cigar in his mouth. why he actually kept it there (the cigar), i’ll never know.
sambo and my grandfather both died of cancer. but i remember working in my grandfather’s wood shop in the basement. making monstrocities of spare pieces and taking them for inspection and judgment. grandpa never laughed. he always would just nod and ‘hmm’ to himself as if he was really looking at them and then, pronounce them the ‘best he’d ever seen’.
sawdust and motes in the light and my grandpa’s smile. happy memories.
not sure where i was going with that. not sure it matters. felt good to write it.
anyway. a quiet night.