finally home. today was an exercise in overcoming/breathing through frustration. and possibly accepting that this job is not what is intended for me.
i arrived an hour and a half early, as the scheduling letter said they deliberately overbook (hints to people not showing up?). i get there and the building is surrounded by heavy fencing with checkpoints and guardgates and the usual intimidating signage.
there is no one in the guard booth. and just inside the closed gates, a rather large truck is wedged, making entry impossible. two men work on some cabling they’ve pulled up from the manhole cover just inside the gate. they studiously ignore me.
i get out of the truck and go to the callbox and attempt to ring in. it is broken. i ponder this a moment, and decide to try the other two checkpoints. they are both closed and obviously have been so for some time. since all the signage is at the first one, i return there and wait, thinking perhaps being *so* early, i’ve been fortunate enough to be the first one there.
the hour and a half passes. no one else arrives. i do see cars inside, so i know there are people in there. but no one ever comes to the gate.
i check the letter again, confirming i didn’t read it wrong. i didn’t. it clearly states saturday, 10-21-06 at 10:00am. i wait until 10:45am before finally giving up. the letter has no phone number, only an email address. and attempting to text message or email the address only sends a bounce to my cell phone.
i call the friend i was scheduled to visit after the four hour assessment and explain things. they say come on over. so i do. from there, send an email to the contact/recruiter explaining things. we wait an hour for any reply. there is none. so we proceed with our plans.
as i said, i just got home. still no email. i have no idea what has happened, but i suspect missing this testing means i’m eliminated from consideration. it hardly seems fair… but it is the government. i suppose with all that red tape… sigh.
maybe i’ll see a response on monday. who knows. you can be sure i’m going to ask how the heck you’re supposed to get in, since it seems like all the gates are non-functional or unmanned. maybe it was just the weekend… but you’d think knowing they’d scheduled people in, they’d know access is needed.
bleh. i’m just frustrated. i spent half a tank of gas round trip on this. and money is damn tight.
so. my day. on the upside, my friend purchased for me ‘The True Dharma Eye’, a collection of Dogen koans with commentary and forward by John Daido Loori. i’m looking forward to reading (and writing) about them.
they also gave to me a series a few others have recommended to me, ‘Crown of Stars’ by Kate Elliott. all six books. i chuckled. i’m a voracious reader. these will be read by the end of next week. when i said this, my friend gave me the usual, dubious look. they’re about 700-1000 pages each. i whispered, ‘simarillion and anniversary edition… remember?’
heh. they blushed. and nodded. yup. gobbled those two in a day and a half. stars. has it been fifteen years? this friend, afflicted with cerebral palsy, is very likely the brightest intellect i’ve ever encountered. masters in philosophy, bachelors (i think) in journalism. often relegated to the edges for appearances… it always infuriates me that people treat this friend like they are mentally deficient simply because they judge them to ‘look’ so.
we roamed the bookstore and laughed like children for hours. the employees walked by regularly just to say ‘hi’ and smile. i suppose we were overly loud. challenging one another to find certain, obscure sections… debating the merits of ‘the anti-tolkien’… reviewing several new releases on folklore and mythology (a favorite topic we share) and spending some time musing over the offerings in the Buddhist section.
they tease me gently by saying we should check out the new age section. there is very little there i’ve not read, i reply promptly. they laugh, ‘there are new things coming out every day.’ from there, a lively discussion on the transmutation or reshaping of mythos and culture. then, of course, to the technical books and science… ‘rational mysticism’ setting off yet another fierce exchange before we toddled over to languages and pondered the disappearance of gaelic from the store shelves. i won a bet on that one. they didn’t remember, and i wasn’t gauche enough to remind them.
so much more. i think we spent a good four hours there. conversation over coffee toward the end. our cashier was a Buddhist. saw a Shambhala book in the stack and piped up to mention there is a center in the downtown area. i nodded and thanked them. he listened quietly as my friend worked out the words to complete his purchase and i smiled for finding one other who didn’t treat this friend as deficit. compassion is a beautiful thing.
i dropped my friend off to their house, and discovered their mother had finally passed back on september 8th. a hug, tears, and an apology for having been out of touch when it happened. immediately forgiven. kindness. ever and always. i am blessed in this friend.
we discussed another outing soon… but rent is due and i won’t be able to afford it for some weeks. soon though. not soon enough.