it’s barely 2 o’clock and i’ve already worn myself out for the day.
thanks to a friend in the area, i’ve selected an apartment complex. now i’m waiting to find out if they will rent to me or if they’re going to scream at my credit and insist i sleep in my truck.
things begin to look ‘do-able’. the hiring company is providing enough to cover moving expenses, and i may just have enough (barely) to swing the apartment. if not, i’ll be grovelling before my daughter and asking help… but it shouldn’t be for too much.
i was interrupted just now by email. the one responsible for this amazing series of events writes to me to offer yet another kindness that is as unexpected as it is beyond the pale of anything i’ve ever experienced.
i am simply humbled to the dust by this person. they introduced me to this opportunity, and i know they have exerted every influence they hold to see it given me. they have personally donated to funding this move. and now, they offer to stand as security for an apartment if needed.
mind you, i have known this person for a whole of two months. and only at distance.
i’m so astounded by them that i can only sit here and weep. never has anyone been so giving and kind to me. never. and in all my life, i have hoped to meet one… just one… as willing to be for me as i try so hard to be for others.
and i have finally met someone who is. words cannot describe it.
compassion, kindness, and care. toward me. someone who doesn’t believe in boundaries. someone who does a thing just because they can.
they just wrote me an email telling me that they are taking off the week i am scheduled to arrive so they can help me settle in. and to say if a co-signer is needed, they are willing to be one. and i just sat here, crying my eyes out, thankful and in the dirt for amazement and being humbled by such giving.
when i could think straight enough to reply, i wrote them back. but in truth, the words just are not enough, still, i try to tell them:
i am incredibly thankful to meet you. not for what you choose to do, but simply because you confirm to me by your existence that to believe the things i do, and try the way i do, and hope the way i do is not foolish, or naive, not wrong, not pointless, and never other than worthwhile.
and i realize how pitiful the words ‘thank you’ really are…