11-04-06, am

i am listening to a recorded Dharma talk by H.E. Garchen Rinpoche on the bodhichitta teachings – generating loving-kindness and compassion. setting thoughts here…

it is interesting to me how much of this is known. i do not even know how i know it, only that i nod for it being a thing that is core here.

the concept of the Buddha mind as water and the self-clinging mind as ice. the manner in which samsara freezes that water into ice via self-clinging.

the nature of attachment and how attachment is not impediment until that point at which one perceives a thing as ‘belonging to them’. the disparate manner in which both attachment and aversion feed self-clinging and thus, impede bodhichitta.

the reality that it is not our friends, but our enemies who best teach us where our negativities and causes of suffering linger within us.

recognizing one’s fault in negative reactions to another, one may then work to transmute it to patience and loving-kindness and compassion — understanding that it is not the fault of another, these negative reactions — only indication of those areas in which our own impediments live.

as i listen, i think about this in the context of events this year. and i confirm that it was a wise thing to undertake and to carefully, mindfully dissect it all for my learning.

i realize as well that there are a small list of others that i have need to address in this manner. it feels odd to look forward to it.

another realization — i have been blessed in the loss of so much of my material goods. it was an interesting thing to first think this. i surprised myself. in this moment, i understand more fully how living more simply removes the fear of loss and the attachment to those things. in many ways, it has been a relief.

more than this, i find that the notion of getting rid of still more ‘things’ is actually a pleasant thought. there is a possibility i will need to do so in order to make this move to florida. and i actually smile for it… i think about giving this item to that person, this other item to someone else, and all without feeling like i am losing anything. i smile to consider they will enjoy to receive them, and i also smile for knowing i can and will do this happily and without even a tremor of regret.

i would not have been able to say any of that even a year ago.

the Dharma talk speaks now of impartial compassion. suffering and bliss both being illusory, the emptiness comes, and from this, the ability to be impartially compassionate. it resonates here. for the first time in a while, i can manage this in short moments. it is an auspicious sign.

oh. in closing here… another wonderful thing. one of the sanghas i am most involved with is located near the area to which i am moving. this, a surprise, i did not realize it until yesterday. but the sense of delight for it is… intense.

i immediately wrote to the one there and relayed how this unfolds and their welcome and happiness to hear it was just humbling. there is a strong sangha there, tibetan, vajrayana, and of an established and certified lineage.

i am enthused.

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