michael paul gomez of austin texas, i wish for you that all karma engendered by your hurtful, harmful, thoughtless actions be transmuted.
i wish that i take it in your stead.
i wish that all negative outcomes from your persistent, consistent, hatreds and your many, many grudges fall on me.
i wish that any who encounter you be untouched by your words, unmoved by your calumnies, and utterly free from the harm and hurt you cannot seem to help causing, that you insist upon continuing to create.
i wish that, on some far flung day, at weary, utter last, you see beyond the narrow window of your own fears and desires and see at last all the things you are blind to in this moment.
i wish you peace. i wish you happiness. i wish you enlightenment.
but, being human, in this moment, i also wish you would stop speaking of me as if you have any insight whatsoever into who i am, what i am about, or what i think, feel, or believe.
you do not know me because you have never tried to know me.
what you know is the sum total of your own fears, projected onto me. what you know is your own ego and pride, masquerading as friendship and ‘defense’ of another… as if you could ever hold that much of another in this or any life.
set your proud, superior, smug words into the world as if they can possibly hide what you know yourself to be.
speak them, write them, whisper to yourself in the wee hours how much you believe them, so you do not forget… so you do not remember.
as you need, do. and may i reap all you sow that what harvest you so giddily plant will pass you by.
may all that would be suffering to you pass instead to me.
may the very thorn in your heart be set instead into mine.
michael, despite you, regardless of you, i find you the easiest to forgive… why?
simply put — you know not what you do.
om benza sattva hum. om mani padme hum hirh.