pulled from sleep. an email waits. someone writes to me of anger, of vengeance, of taking up the thing i would most see freed. they ask me if this is what i would see done. this, my reply, may it unforge the link in the karma chain.
no. don’t you see? the cycle only continues if we let it. if we choose the same. if we choose unwisely.
i’ve made a lot of unwise choices in my life. karma knows her business.
the things i suffer in any moment rise from my own previous choices.
the things i will suffer rise from the choices i make in this moment.
i am not responsible for their choices except for the degree to which i unskillfully relate to them.
seeing and knowing this, and seeing and knowing both that they are unwilling to choose better and i am unable to motivate them to such better choices, what point to extend their spiral or my own in such ways?
i wish them no ill. i never have. but they cannot know it. why this is, i remain ignorant of insight to… and ultimately, it matters not. it is as it is. and it is time to accept it.
i did not share this with you to create strife and anger. i shared this with you so you would understand you are never as alone as you sometimes feel…. that, in any moment, all the world suffers… often the same as you…. and in every moment, we are free… free to choose… free to choose better… free to break the karma chain… for the benefit of others, for the benefit of all.
no, xxxxxxxxxxx. i do not need or want this link to be forged.
rather, i would see all such links unmade, return dross and ore and all the gritty, oily, aged things collected along its length to the void.
my lessons in this are being learned. albeit slowly. and the hurt and pain i suffer at the hands of these others is dealt so that learning may take place. will i set my heel and refuse, choose to receive the lessons like a mule in the field, repeatedly? no. this i will learn.
Rinpoche says, The Dharma says, The Buddha says… those who hate you, treat you as enemy, stir negativity in you, they are like gems…. precious treasures. why? because they show you your lessons, because they present you with the chance to learn… to choose wisely, differently, well.
would i like to think it possible i could just… scrytch? be that stranger who could arrive and find the welcome of a stranger in this place? yes.
is that possible? obviously not.
whose fault is it?
mine. yours. theirs. everyone’s. no one’s. it doesn’t matter. in the end, nothing does except that we learn.
no, i have no need of another lashing out on my behalf. i have felt that from xxxxxxxxxxxx, i know the acid of hate from a stranger. would i wish that on another? on them? no.
i am sorry my words create this in you. it was not my intent. and i weep once more for how my own seeking of relief only brings another link in the chain into being…. and look forward to the day when i know better than i do in this moment how to see more clearly the illusion that is the forge.
your choices are your own. but be more wise than me. please.
namaste.