i had a moment of nothing today.
as tempted as i am to relay the circumstances, i really do not think they are the important part of this. so, forgive me, but i’m not telling you about them.
but, as a result of them, i had this one, crystalline clear moment in which the truth of all the stupidity, illusion, suffering, clinging, despair, hope, anger, fear, envy, greed, pride, …. argh… all of it… and i mean ALL of it… was laughable.
that doesn’t begin to do what happened justice.
in a moment when i should have been doing anything except laughing, i was absolutely rolling in the floor with laughter. looking at the ceiling, i didn’t even see the ceiling. convulsed with laughter that sprang from lower back and ran straight up my spine, dancing all the way and ever so often along the way, rippling and doubling the laughter.
and then, absolutely nothing.
that moment of nothing was powerful. and it lasted for a few moments before passing.
i didn’t mind seeing it go any more than i minded watching and feeling it arrive.
somehow, the not minding part made it possible. which seems weird, but isn’t. hard to explain.
even now, trying to convey it, i’m struggling because i have no interest in blowing it out of proportion. but it was NEW and i could see everything was… nothing.
for a moment, nothing.
wow.