got a ping on the ol’ stats page from someone i never expected to see swing by here.
in all honesty, i don’t think she meant to show up. looks like she was doing the usual ‘who links to me’ vanity search at google and stumbled over a post some months ago that happened to include her character’s name (google… my stars).
sadly, that post was the number one hit. so i suspect her vanity was not happy. but the curious thing was how much time she spent reading after arriving here. i have to admit, it was kind of creepy to see the referrer links fill a half page as she bounced around this place.
on the other hand, having come through the past year, i understand much better what she likely endured during the time she knew him. and in many ways, thinking back on the things he told me of her, i feel very badly for her. she never deserved the Wrong Speech he gave me with regard to her.
as i heard it some time ago, she’s met someone and is happy. this is a very good thing. perhaps, having satisfied herself that there is very little of her or thoughts of her here, she has moved along. i admit, over time, i have come to understand her better simply by contrasting what i knew of her against what i knew of him.
all the same, i still shake my head that it happened as it did. convicted of an interest i didn’t have, then finding that interest after all the condemnation (undue) had passed, only to lose that interest just as this one reappears in what would be an odd coincidence… were i one to believe in coincidences.
glimmers in the pattern. weird weavings. she surfaces briefly and at distance as if to remind me. but i already remember. so i simply smile, wave, and hope she is well.