obligatory entry here, not a lot to say today.
had a thought to make what would be a rather large change and spent the evening discussing it with a good friend. ultimately, talked myself out of it. likely for the best, even as the thought itself lingers somewhat.
you know how, when you finally move past something that you’ve been hooked on, all you want to do is forget everything associated with it? almost a reflex, really. hmm. perhaps it is.
kind of like taking out the trash. or sweeping the last, lingering cobwebs from the corners.
there are lingering remnants here that i’d prefer not to look at, and the initial thought was simply to do away with them. but upon speaking with my good friend, one who is forever understanding and gentle with me, i receive insight and wisdom to look beyond the reflex and moment.
the funny part is, they supported me moving on it slowly if i felt i had to… but thought i should really think on it before taking any action that could not be ‘undone’.
rashness is an accusation i have suffered in the past, often accurate, but not always.
usually, it is simply a sense of ‘whew… ok… i’m done with that. now let me get anything that might cause me to pick it up again out of here.’
perhaps not quite reflex. trying to be kind to myself in it.
i’ll sleep on it. if i’m still thinking about it tomorrow, maybe something should be done… but if things go as they have been lately, i’ll not return to it again… which is, as are many other things in this moment, very beneficial to my overall state of mind.