archival.
The only relationship we have is the one that my birthing you created. As you so pointedly remind, there is nothing else upon which to base one. If there is no interest in exploring that, it is likely best to let what is, be.
You say blood ties aren’t enough to create meaning to you. Frankly, I think that is a sign of your youth. Perhaps you will see deeper with time. Regardless, I am certain ——- will be a comfort to you and wish both of you all the best in exploring things.
I spent a long time defining myself by contrast to people I didn’t want to be. I wish you better luck with it, but in my experience, clinging to those definitions to define myself wasn’t any more helpful than letting them go would have been. Perhaps you will discover differently.
I see more clearly now the purpose behind your communication with me. It is not unlike my own communication with my father. And no, I don’t suppose I can expect you to have any interest in my feelings… sparing them or otherwise. For all you say you see how I have worked to consider yours, I do not think you do. Or, if you do, you do not yet really grasp what it means and points to… But life is as it is.
I learned a long time ago that suffering is usually self-inflicted and I’m not as willing to suffer as I used to be…
I sincerely hope you got what you needed from me, as I do not in this moment see much benefit to either of us from further exchange at this time.
To that end, this will likely be my last response for now.
Be well.