random splash of oddness from the deeps.
liminality, oh i have no boundary
but don’t touch that one
don’t cross that one
i’ll kill you for that one
see how free i am
caper, dance, and sing
about the hungry fire
change me oh burn me through
make of me incense
but not yet
wait until there is a crowd
i see her dancing there
she cares not
invites my stare
even as she refuses to invite me
i love her and i hate her
free of wanting
as i want to be
i told her there are no boundaries
oh i drew her in
careful sweetly softly
oh power, she believed
how tender did i touch her
turning away as if afraid
oh she follows, innocent
wanting only to experience me
it is her belief i hate
something i cannot share
so it must be riven
oh i must have it
else it must die
i try to pull it from her
snatch it away, but
she falls with it, entwined
the knife does not care
it cuts with indiscriminate glee
her gasps and gurgling sobs
my ears find it a fugue
she danced by the fire
i loved her for her love of me
i hated her for her love of me
i recognized her freedom
but even with the knife
i cannot make it mine
oh i see it now
it is not a thing to take
or to break
it is of her
and she of it
these things he told to me
shuddering, weeping
as i sat by him, by the fire
as i listened and i loved
he invited me to a walk
to bide with him a time
through the city, through the meadow
i smiled for active presence
he thinks i do not know
where he hides the knife
or how he caresses it
thinking of success
thinking of how he
will at last cull it
lift it from my being
drape it over his
he veers to the left
hey, come look at this!
innocent delight
a mask under which lust throbs
i continue walking
wondering if he will realize
how i knew
thinking to myself of the moment
when at last i could see
the futility of killing in others
that which
i could not find my way to be
my own knife, abandoned
buried in mother earth
roots over metal, over bloodied edges
blunting all with acceptance
so certain of my following
he doesn’t even turn
doesn’t notice
likely won’t for some time
not this life, anyway
i sigh and lay me down
mind empty, clear, and quiet
set candles of regret into
the sands of time
forgive me, forgive me
whispered to the ghosts
as i loose them to forever