archival.
> serious meltdown eh?
not so much a meltdown, just a willingness to define the spaces in which his ego and paranoia live as the illusions they are, and to very pointedly say:
‘no, that of you is not welcome here. that of you that could have been and is not remains here as the example of that which is all of us and thus, worthy of honor and respect, but there is nothing of your ego, your insufferable arrogance, and your abject psychosis that is deserving of any of it.’
to make it clear. crystalline. that, if the poor, addled fuck chooses to flog himself by continuing to come around, there is not nor will here be any further attention given to that of him which savors in warped ways the process of doing so.
my attentions turn to healing myself. there are aspects of his illness that serve that purpose, and i choose to use them for lack of having anything else suitable to use… and if the sick fuck wants to think that means i’m somehow unable to live without him, that’s his little brown bag and he can carry it to fucking infinity for all i care.
so yes. a very unstinted, free, and fulfilling expression of the disgust, revulsion, and anger for the continuing sickness of someone i have happily relinquished in every way this life.