well. just when i think i’m about to crash and burn, something happens that sheds a ray of light.
i’m far from out of the woods just yet, but there have been a number of interesting developments in the last day. on every front. do i really need to say there’s a freaking tsunami of Focus in effect? the pressure (hard to explain, fullness, expansion… ) is unbelievable.
ok. ok. details. heh.
had a contact from a friend today who works with CompUSA. they offered their discount and a voucher (?) to help me get back online so i could blow out resumes, keep up on contacts/email, and keep myself distracted otherwise. a blessing. oh stars, is it ever.
i write this from the keyboard of a new (boggle) Toshiba A135.
next… as i was in the parking lot at the local mall preparing to do a massive application run, the phone rings. it is a friend in north carolina. he is calling to send good thoughts, words of care, and offer of help. in the dirt i was, immediately. we spoke for some time and i’m about to gather some information for him that hopefully, will be helpful in his situation. i told him i’m not quite to the point of begging help… but if i get there, it is a blessing to know he is there for me.
the broadcast email to friends advising that this may well be one of those ‘she’s done gone and disappeared, hope she’s ok’ episodes. the responses? well. as usual, the few, rare friends i have forever know just what to say to keep my from curling up and giving up.
from my friend on the ranch just outside austin, tx:
Things will work out for you. You’ve got more drive than anyone I
know. Some opportunity will open up, and you’ll jump on it, faster than
anyone else, like you always do.I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Good hunting.
from my friend in atlanta, ga:
love ya, Buddhist girl.. hang in there..
i’m sending you the white, silvery, shimmery, light..
from my friend in cali:
I don’t even know what to say. The only thing I CAN say is
that you are one of the most resilient persons I have ever met, and I
believe you’ll make it through this.Know that my thoughts will be with you. Karma owes you BIG time, time
for that dirty dog to pay up.*HUG*
and from my friend in seattle:
I think you need to say ‘sayonara!’ to the South, and come live in seattle.
well. as you may or may not know if you read here, i’ve been trying to get to seattle/portland area since about oh… 1998. so naturally, i shot back a note asking how serious this friend was… heh. i should know better. serious as a heart attack. we’re talking about it now, and you know what? i may just do it.
i was telling someone today that it would be the very height of funny if all this was paving the way to seattle. and frankly, it wouldn’t be the first time such oddness precipitated a spate of real beauty in life. frankly, i’d much prefer to stay here for now… but that will rather depend on whether or not i can find work outside technology. i’m giving it two weeks.
to be honest, for all the oddness along the way, life has always been filled with beauty. punctuated by these strange events, yes, filled with the unusual and sometimes bizarre, yes… but always, beautiful.
oh. hah. an example. as i was waiting in the parking lot today, a flock of seagulls (not the band!) came to visit me. literally. they flew overhead, hovered a bit, and then, settled around me like it was just natural as could be. they took turns walking up and inspecting me. it really was quite funny. one of them, a soft-eyed thing, actually stood by my feet for a bit and looked up at me like it was trying to tell me something.
alas, i do not speak gull. but it was kind enough to remain as i got my camera out for a quick duo of shots. these three were the last of the group, the remainder got a bit anxious when i started reaching into my handbag and took off. but for about ten minutes, we were just all… hanging out and being cool together.
which was very beautiful indeed.
mr-gull-01.JPG mr-gulls-02-and-03.JPG
on the downside for the day, i was supposed to spend the day with two of my sangha members and it looks like i may well miss that for all this running around. sigh. next weekend we’re trying again… a visit to a local fisherman’s village with legendary greek food. i’m really looking forward to it.
actually, oddly, i’m really looking forward to what is next. you know, it really is just a matter of perspective. and when it comes right down to it, i don’t think i’m willing to be worried, fearful, and unhappy in life anymore.
huh. go figure.