someone complimented me today. told me i was ‘looking healthier’. wanted to know why or what i was doing. deadpan serious, i replied, ‘i’m eating.’ they laughed as if i were joking. i let them think so because it was easier than trying to explain.
i suppose it will sound odd, but i often forget to eat. not that it has been much of an issue lately, what with finances as they are… but all the same, i find myself wandering the apartment with a headache from hell, or suddenly my stomach hurts and i don’t know why… and i think and think and think and eventually have that ‘duh’ moment when i realize i haven’t eaten today. or since yesterday. or whatever.
tonight i had organic potatoes with shredded cheese. my goodness. i could taste the earth in them. made the usual potatoes seem sterile. replete and somewhat drowsy now, i sit here and ponder ‘what i want to say’ and find there isn’t that much. i’m working on trying to speak only of this moment, less of past ones. but in odd ways, it just reminds me that all thought happens after the fact and so i wind up without much to say at all.
i suppose that isn’t helpful to writing. on the other hand, i reckon i’m pretty good about rambling on about nothing much at all. =/
i’ve a friend who is on the road even as i type… moving from nevada to north carolina. they’re making a detour some 700 miles just to visit me. in truth, i thought they were pulling my leg when they said it. no one ever actually does that except me. well. until now.
and the last week of the month, master sergeant is in town and wanted to have dinner with me. i wasn’t so sure i was up for that, but i find the anger gone and so am going to enjoy dinner with a friend and just be content to let it be that.
for all it may not seem it at times, i rarely hold onto anger. that isn’t to say it doesn’t flare up from out of nowhere now and again… but mostly only when i’ve been looking backward instead of forward. i tend not to do that often, so it’s not the epidemic some seem to think it.
meh. rambling. let’s see. the flare of arthritic inflammation is almost gone. i may actually be able to wear my shoes tomorrow. hurray!
oh, and a friend over the pond sent me the most amazing pieces. he made them from some sound effects i wanted to experiment with… but once i had them recorded, be damned if i could figure out what to actually do with them that wasn’t entirely too focused on their origins rather than pointing away from them.
but i knew my friend would know what to do… and so he did. the result, three pieces on a theme, sit here on my drive and just make me smile.
the music interest is kind of on the burner until i get a keyboard under me. i’m finding trying to use the computer keyboard to compose takes a lot out of the spontaneity of it all… so i’m waiting.
not much else to report, really. work is work, home is quiet, and at least for now, i’m floating rather contentedly along the middle of the river. writer’s itch has somewhat abated of late. not sure why, but probably related to not digging too deep and insisting on keeping my eyes and mind here, now.
redundant. ok. that means this entry is done. heh. be well.