dream vs reality

well. the spate of grit has passed and the ‘voice of reason’ is now center stage. contemplating what’s possible versus what i wish were possible. trying to find the happy medium.

things i know:

1) i am not giving up my cats. so atlanta is out.

2) i do not have enough to get me to seattle. so, barring winning the lotto or some other manner of windfall, seattle is out.

3) i do not have unemployment insurance available… so this is all the cash there is until i find work.

4) recent events (unrecorded) considered, i have to have work that offers insurance.

5) given the two above, i may as well hit up the local retail outlets and snag what i can now and count on trying to tough it out here.

if things go ugly, i can always load the truck and see how far i can get. until then, it does seem more prudent to try and keep things on an even keel here. not that it seems likely but at least here, i don’t have to go through the process of trying to convince someone to rent to me. i’ve got almost a year of good rental history here… and there’s still a bit of time before month’s end for this to make it back into the frying pan and out of the fire.

not much more to say, really. creative juice is gone and were it not for the equanimity brought by meditation, i reckon i’d be a wreck. so i’m thankful that i’m not. that isn’t to say i won’t be very soon… but in this moment… maintaining.

and so it goes…

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