nia.
some nights, i just cannot get to sleep. i lay in bed, but my mind is making all kind of weird loops into places of thought that disturb and creep me out.
i thought about trying to explain it, but i don’t think it’s possible. my usual nightly routine is to think of and spend a moment thanking all the people whose presence in the world has made my life a little bit brighter. sending love, i call it. different shades for different reasons, but it’s all part of the same thing anyway.
i thought maybe i’d do that here, tonight. i usually do it geographically, so i don’t leave anyone out. i suppose that will sound odd. (shrug)
patrick and jenny – thanks for being there when i needed it. i wish i’d known you longer, and hope no matter where life takes you, it does so gently.
mark and annie – while i never got the chance to actually meet you, i learned a lot from knowing you as i did, and i’m thankful you were present when you were to show me beautiful things and remind me that the wonder you share with one another really is still possible in the world.
andrew – you were always a better friend than you thought you were, and i’m sad i couldn’t prove it, as it seems our paths now only rarely cross. i hope life looks up for you and you find the things that make you happiest.
rick m. – i was glad to meet you, glad to know you, and if i had a wish at all, it would be only that i wish we were still in touch.
dagan and kell – regardless how it may seem, the only thing i ever wanted for you two was peace. i’m hopeful you found it.
greg k. – i lost touch with you when you moved to cali, but i still smile to think that maybe you found your dreams there after all.
greg s. – thanks for the conversations and insights over time.
billy b. – the hardest part always was avoiding the thorns. i still remember you and pinky… and hope you’re well, wherever you may be.
malkura – i grin every time i remember the day you found you didn’t have to be a loner anymore. i miss talking with you.
rick f. – the ranch and the olive trees and the sound of your laughter. i’m glad to know you, glad we’re still in touch, and glad to know you didn’t lose the farm.
mike g. – i never knew you as much as i’d hoped, and not as well as either of us deserved. i still like to think it was more missing the good parts than only finding the bad.
h.r. – nothing left to say except, as always, i hope you are well.
craig g. – the last i knew, you were running triathlons and getting things square. every time i see a runner, i still think of you and smile.
james p. – i used to think we’d be such great friends… then i realized, we already are. thank you for being part of my life.
andrew b. – i’ll never forget stomping troopers and how you grinned the first time you told me about meeting her. i hope it continues to be everything you could imagine and a lot you couldn’t… in the best of ways.
jose m. – i loaned you that movie and you disappeared. i still miss you more. hope you are well.
teresa m. – still waiting on the some day. hope you are, too.
rick a. – blessings and warm thoughts to you, sean, and the kids. thank you for being there when i needed it most. you always were a good friend.
patrick r. – i still believe and it’s because of you. thank you.
jimmy and missy k. – one of two examples of true commitment i’ve ever seen in life. i’m humbled to call you friends. thank you for being part of my world.
greg l. – sometimes, what we wish gets in the way, but when i knew you, as i knew you, i was thankful to call you friend.
phil h. – more than most, you’ve been a special light in my life. thank you for being here.
dave w. – i gave you that hat because i knew what it would become. you’re a treasure to me. i am thankful to know you.
reza a. – from the uk to iraq to the u.s., more years than either of us imagined and from listening to you mourn solitude to rejoice for marriage…. i’m proud and humbled to call you my friend.
dave and dotty z. – there is no doubt in my mind that were it not for you, i would not be here. thank you for being more than you had to… just because.
joe d. – hard to believe we’ve known one another this long. you owe me a game of pool and i still look forward to collecting on that last wager.
levien d. – thank you for being a teacher when i needed one, a companion when i was alone, a friend when it would have been easier not to be, and a memory that still warms my heart.
tracey b. – for the conversations and the chuckles, and the simple beauty of an honest friendship… thank you.
warren h. – espresso soda… whodda thought? i’m glad life allowed us to meet and look forward to the next time.
paul a. – seven years is a long time, but the five since have been longer. i still think of you and wish you well and hope we’ll find one another again, my friend.
michael b. – a happy note in the score. the only thing better than the intro is knowing you get to listen to the entire song over time. i’m looking forward to it. thank you for being a friend.
laurence a. – for being a knight in shining armor when i no longer believed they existed… thank you.
pam f. – thank you for taking a chance.
daniel t. – sometimes the hardest work is the work we have to do on ourselves. you’re loved, whether you know it or not.
leighla n. – you’re still my star and i thank you for teaching me about love.
i’m sure i’m forgetting someone… and for it, i’m very sorry, but i’m finally beginning to get tired. isn’t it interesting how rituals and patterns work…. (soft smile)
g’night folks. love you all more than you’ll ever know, more than words can say.