it’s interesting how perspective shifts depending on the direction you’re looking. for now, i’m looking up, which is decidedly nice.
i just had a three hour conversation with someone i was actually surprised to hear from again. i suppose that’s more a statement of my recent perspective than anything. but it is good and nice to be surprised in these ways. i need more such surprises in my life, i think.
actually, i need to learn how to give them to myself. i’m going to be thinking and working on that for the next little while.
i have an appointment at 10am that will bring relief. my stomach has been really bothering me lately and i finally figured out why. so now it’s off to see about it and i’m really happy to be doing so. i’ve put it off far too long.
heh. my friend out west said he was a little worried about ‘manning up’ to call me since he reads here and he’d noticed i was in a decidedly angry mood lately. i had to point out to him this blog exists to dump all of that so i’m not carrying it around. in fact, the single best sign that i’m safe to approach is that this manner of ‘core dump’ happens here now and again.
it’s when there’s nothing here or only happy, sunshine stuff that you need to worry, because that’s the surest sign i’m ignoring eeyore and not letting that funky, sad, angry thing have its say.
it feels odd to have to reiterate it. it’s normal here. i sometimes forget that what is ‘normal’ here is decidedly abnormal for everyone else. heh.
reiterating:
seeing sad, angry, or depressed things here is a good indicator that i’m not wallowing in them real time, real life. i put these things here so they aren’t floating around in my head creating misery for myself or others. this is a dumping ground, my own personal landfill, where things go to wither and fade from my life.
this is NOT a thermostat for my life. this is NOT an indicator of my every day. this is NOT a good way to determine how i am doing or where my head is. in fact, you’d do better to conclude the opposite of what you see here.
maybe i should make that part of my ‘about’ page. not that most read it (or re-visit it once they have).
anyway. there. it’s said.
pretty much the only thing chaffing me at the moment is the sense that what i want interpersonally isn’t here yet. impatience, you know. but hardly life-threatening. an annoyance, mostly.
the rest is damn fine, if i say so myself. i’m in relatively good health, (believe it or not) i’m sane, i’m regaining momentum (finally!), i’m still debt-free – all things in my possession are fully mine.
how many do you know that can say this? hell, it’s the full moon and i’m saying it. looks like looking up is a good idea. 🙂