i swear i am sincerely, deathly, totally apologetic for any humor i ever made about the hormonal changes that happen after 40. but i admit it’s only because i’m enduring them now and they are not fun. sigh.
the whole walking rotisserie thing is a true horror. one minute, you’re just fine. the next, you’re doing the slow spin while your body is sending enough chemicals through your veins to make timothy leary proud. sweat leaps out of you like you’ve run a marathon… only you haven’t moved. a perfectly comfortable room turns into the motel hell sauna. you make the oven at the local KFC seem like a refreshing place to be.
am i making the point? and oh, let’s talk mood swings. i’ve got mood swings that would put a busy kindergarten playground to shame… SHAME I TELL YOU. (ref: video)
as i read, i have a lot of wonderful things to look forward to — short term memory lapses, a slow loss of libido (actually, that would be welcome, all things considered), curious sproutings of hair in places where no hair has ere grown before, and generally more and more intense iterations of the delightful hot flashes and mood swings until it all finally burns out and i’m officially ‘a senior’.
holy hell. this means i’ve got seven to ten years of this to ‘enjoy’. ugh.
the most annoying and frustrating part is, i know what’s causing it, but it sure doesn’t make putting up with it any easier. i shudder to think what my friends must think.
i watched this comedienne talking about this and she made me laugh until i cried for it. she was trying to explain her mood swing to her fella and she says, “well, it’s like going from ‘mebbe you ought to spend some away time because i don’t want to hurt you’ to ‘i’d like you kill you… several times.’ ” the look on the guy’s face was priceless. poor thing. i suppose it’s a good thing i don’t have a fellow around. hardly seems fair to inflict such things on another human. even if you can’t really help it.
my friend in the uk must think i’m truly nuts. hell, *I* think i’m going nuts. most times, i just try to keep myself distracted when i feel it ramping up. sometimes it helps. heh.
actually, it helps to know there’s a reason for it. as weird as it may sound, i tend not to think of my age often. so when this started up about a year ago, i just chalked it up to stress. i mean, it isn’t as if i haven’t had plenty of that going on in life. but this week and particularly these last few days, i’ve been doing research and i actually called the doctor’s office to just talk to someone about it (i can’t afford more than that yet as i’ve no insurance at the moment).
that call was the best decision i’ve made recently. they were wonderful about pointing me to reliable information online and did a LOT to ease my worry for my sanity. (and yes, over the last month or two, i’ve really wondered.)
so. looks like i’m officially starting ‘the change’. they say it takes about 7 – 10 years, though most women don’t start feeling it until later in their 40’s. lucky me. i remember very clearly that both my mother and my grandmother started between 42 and 45. we’re early beginners all the way around, it seems. hah.
they told me that hormone replacement therapy might be an option to curb the more uncomfortable parts, but between the insurance situation and my own aversion to pharmaceuticals, i reckon i’ll be roughing this for a while yet.
you know, i really don’t feel old. and i don’t like the reminders. but i reckon it beats the alternative.