the appointment on wednesday has me a bit jittery. big steps often do this. it’s silly, i know, but i am mildly fearful that something go wrong and things will turn out poorly.
one of the kind of sad parts about having things go well is how i always wind up wondering when they’re going to turn to shit again. it’s not an overt thing, but it kind of lurks around the corner of my mind, if that makes sense.
i’m working on not giving it any more space than it has already. so far, so good. it helps that i’m working on a new book outline. yes, you heard me. a book. the first i’ve undertaken in more than passing fashion since losing the three i had on the drive in 2001.
it’s going to be a slow process, but that’s alright. i want to do it up properly and there’s a ton of background and history to sketch and flesh out before i’m ready to get down to knitting the story from the threads set into the outline in the wee hours of the morning.
oh. hah. in other news, my friend who had taken over one of my game accounts called tonight to share with me his decision to scorch the earth upon his departure from the game. what a hoot. apparently he’s managed to get pretty much everyone he knew up in arms. particularly the asshats who were so ugly to me.
i hate to admit it, but that really made me smile. i put up with a LOT of unwarranted shit from a variety of corners in that game and the notion that my friend has made a point of rubbing those two jerk’s noses in it on his way out is a guilty pleasure here.
i can’t say i miss that game. the two i’m enjoying now are better mechanically and certainly graphically… for all they miss a bit here and there in performance. i do think my inevitable leavetaking from them all is closer. too much enjoyable stuff to do to spend hours at the time doing something that has no real value or lasting outcome in the world.
meh. we’ll see. for now, its a chance to enjoy the company of friends that i cannot afford to travel to see. maybe someday soon, that will change and the need for visiting with them in a virtual world won’t be required.
not much else to report elsewise. i am cautiously planning the budget for the coming two weeks and it looks like there’s enough in place to get over the hump of taxes and have enough left over to eat on. from there, setting aside a little every payday toward the two loans and looking ahead to the day when there’s enough afterwards for luxuries like… well… you know. (no sense going off on it again, is there?)
i thought i’d write a bit tonight, but here it is almost eleven and i’m drowsy. the history of the world for this story is going to be rather involved. perhaps it is best to let it percolate a time. slow steps. i’m looking forward to this.