i’m not usually one who looks forward to any particular day of the week.
i mean, let’s face it, a day is a day is a day and the only thing that makes any one different than another is how we think about it.
i know a lot of folks who “live” for friday. that has always seemed a bit self-defeating to me. after all, if friday’s are all that really matter, that means you spend well over half your time waiting on something that isn’t here. not to mention the somewhat vague (more often much more than so) discontent that always seems to accompany these manner of statements.
but i’m looking forward to friday this week and actually managing not to be discontent or even impatient in the meantime. mostly because i have a solid sense of security in what is coming. which is rare. and nice.
it is a bit curious how these recent changes have rather dramatically improved my overall mindset and outlook. but rather than go into details, i think instead i’ll simply say what the results are… or seem to be.
first and foremost, the sense of angst has been obliterated. and here i thought it was present because of things decidedly unrelated to work. hah.
secondly, i’ve been able to do some things for myself that i had been putting off for (in some cases) years. and have done them with little to no feeling of guilt for the ‘what if’ factor.
third, i’ve taken some rather pointed stock of situations i’ve allowed sustenance and find my view/perspective on them is changing. this is very interesting to me, because it hints to a more pronounced unwillingness to endure things that i know are not helpful to me. let’s just say there’s a lot more in this than may immediately seem obvious.
fourth and likely most importantly, i feel a very real motivation toward engagement with things again, and this seems to be pervasive – across every level.
it is sometimes funny how changes, sometimes even very small ones, can make such huge differences in how or if we allow ourselves to do things.
i suppose it is worth saying that friday is hardly the factor of itself. there are several intriguingly quasi-related circumstances that are converging and it would appear that friday is simply the day upon which they will all intersect. which makes looking forward to this friday rather natural, i suppose.
i believe and think it very likely that after friday, there will be a good many things that are permitted in this moment that will no longer be so. i also suspect that after this friday, there will be some who are decidedly surprised to find the things they have been taking for granted are suddenly gone.
but most of all, after friday, there will be considerably less weight on the scales of life for me and for once, i think maybe letting myself reach just a wee bit outside this moment for it will be ok.