my daughter is in new york this weekend, courtesy of a new beau. i strongly suspect she is a target of the trophy hunters. my personal advice to her will be to finish college and demand a significant dowry that is then protected by some manner of pre-nuptial agreement.
in other news…
i am watching a friend slowly (very slowly) drift away from me. i am not even sure they are aware of it yet, but i have been waiting to see it happen ever since february. it is bittersweet, as all such things are, but not as painful as i had thought it would be.
i am thankful that most of the inner house-cleaning needed has taken place. it means i can enjoy what sharing does arrive and not have to be so torn up over the sharing that is forever gone. it also means that certain things of it all are now confirmed and i can appropriately credit myself without needing to say a word further on it.
i am, it seems, in a quietly reflective mood today. which is nice, considering the rollercoaster of this past week. and now, i laugh, because i knew without looking that we are at precisely half moon. hah!
the book is going along much better than expected. i’ve completed the initial outline and as much as i intend to do on character sketches and am now working on world building and the related components for storyweaving. a friend laughs at me and says i am ‘doing too much’ and i simply shot back, ‘this is no short story’.
i’m reminded of a lost friend who used to be forever talking about his ‘life work’ which was purportedly some great and epic book he intended to write. poor guy. writers do not talk about writing. they write. he was so offended when i as much as intimated it. i suppose sometimes, truth hurts. (shrug)
i called this entry ‘watching’ because i’ve been watching several aspects of my life come into something of a convergence. most of it deals with the ongoing lesson of impermanence as displayed so very faithfully by the people i encounter. some of it deals with how those who remain tend to be like moons; constantly orbiting and generally stable in their circuits, but without any promise whatever toward becoming committed to any of it.
i realize that last is a statement of perspective shift. a rather profound one, really. let’s hope it lasts as it has been quite helpful in curtailing some of the more painful things. burying ghosts. that image makes me laugh, mostly for the incongruity of it.
on an unrelated (and rather spontaneous) note — i have decided that i will save for my first official vacation ever in life. it will happen next year (all things remaining in alignment long enough for a year to pass and the opportunity to take an official vacation thus appearing). this is a spot of future-reaching that i would not normally allow myself… but i believe i have filled it with enough mindful references to possible shiftings to manage it without becoming attached to it.
while i do have thoughts on destinations and plans otherwise, i refuse to let them have more than the space they have in my head at present. so there.
not much else to say at 5:30am on a saturday. well. except for a very simple and very quiet sentence… “i am missing you.”
you know who you are.