you may be surprised to know there are a number of things i have never experienced in life. i could write the list, but it would be long and rather sad. but among the number of the list, the enjoyment of certain works considered ‘classics’ of art, writing, music, and film.
tonight, one small remedy. tonight, i watched for the first time ‘Dr. Zhivago’.
they call it a love story and i think i agree. but i suspect most call it a love story for very different reasons than i do. the thing that struck me first and most deeply was Lara’s rejection of Yuri as they broke camp. she told him that she never wanted him to have to lie about her.
later, when Tanya and his family had departed to Paris, there was no reason to lie and so, they were together until they could no longer be, and by the story, loved one another as well as two humans might ever manage in a lifetime.
in the end, he gives her up to save her and kills himself in pursuit of trying to recover her once she had passed from his life.
i found that a rather interesting statement of the human condition. we do seem an unruly and dissatisfied lot most times… sacrifice in the name of pure love is rare enough, and given enough time, it seems we tend to second guess ourselves, usually to the detriment of all.
it does seem all these classics revolve around impermanence and the heroic struggle of one or more humans to simply accept things as they are. i am, of course, aware that is simply my perspective and more than likely well off the beaten path.
the byplay of Yuri as he contemplated Tanya and his family, duty and storge was a pensive thing. it is hard for humans to accept that it is very much possible to love more than one person at the same time. horribly rude insofar as the world is concerned, of course.
the initial reluctance of Yuri in relation to Lara was equally pensive, albeit for entirely different reasons. it seems almost required in our literature that such things are never permitted happy endings. i suppose it insures the social machine rolls along at least somewhat smoothly. but i think about the various other movies in the genre and how they all seem to insist there can be no happy ending for those who flout convention.
i guess it is the bohemian in me that takes umbrage with it. par for a very rough course. i chuckle for it.
the layered lesson was slightly muted but no less present. it seems the manner of thing that is very rarely pointed at directly. most often, outlined in negative space; with inference and implication, body language and good direction. i did see it, however. i suppose it would be bad form to baldly state it, so i refrain.
timing is an interesting thing in my life. i am forever set upon by multiple synchronicities whenever a major decision is about to take place or has just taken place. sometimes, it almost seems as if i am being asked repeatedly, “Are you sure?”
i am almost never sure. but i try with all my being to act with good intent, from kind interest, and with the purest of love.
i am almost never sure. and i often think, in later days, that i was mistaken. but i only have my own outcomes to judge by, so i suppose it would be more accurate to admit i never really get to know if i were or not.
the wistfulness of the full circle has never been lost upon me. for all i tell anyone, everyone, that i will always be here, i suppose it does not matter when whomever was told has moved along.
i do see it, eventually, like now. and when i do, i always say that seeing it now is ‘better late than never’. but it often seems a cold comfort until i think about the good moments along the way, or the positive contributions or outcomes that might never have come into being were it not for being so constantly late.
warmer comfort, that. sometimes, anyway.
a good movie and a good moment in which to see it. as always, things unfold as they will and it is up to us to find the ways to take them in stride.
like i said, better late than never.