i’m writing because i don’t feel like being on camera.
payroll still hasn’t arrived and i am now -200 for it. which means when it does get here, i’ll have just enough (maybe) to pay the rent and utilities. nothing more. and will be waiting until tuesday of next week for this week’s pay as well.
one step forward, two steps back. par for the fucking course.
add to this that it is discovered today that not only has the company not committed to dita/xml, the current writer, my compadre, is fairly insistent that we run it all through frame because she doesn’t want to have to learn tools and technology, she just wants to write.
you could have knocked me out of my chair with a feather when she said it. i’m not particularly angry about it, but it introduces a whole big barrel of political monkeys that i really would prefer not to have to deal with…. she’s pushing at me to push for making the leap to dita/xml and ‘handling’ the technical side of it so she can ‘just write’.
i’m MORE than happy to do that, only she insists we have to find a way to manage it all through frame and frankly, frame can’t do it. add to this they have a yet proprietary format for what they can do… and i don’t know it.
nor does she.
so the upshot is that the manager gets this as the update from both of us and says, ‘no worries, let’s just keep going as we are for now and we’ll figure it out later.’ which i am ALSO just dandy with, only now my compadre is pushing at me even harder to do the pushing she doesn’t want to do herself.
er, no thanks. i know what happens in such a scenario. but it is going to make things rocky if the management doesn’t completely cut its throat soon. meh. i knew there would have to be at least one fly somewhere in the ointment. now it’s just about keeping my head down, sticking to the letter of the manager’s interests and seeing how it rolls.
not much else to report at the moment. i’m generally angry and pretty prickly at this moment. i suspect it has more to do with being hungry than anything. i get downright snarky when i haven’t eaten.
part of me is reminding me it isn’t really so bad. i know this. the other part is just pitching a fit because damn it, things are supposed to get better not do this whole slip-slide narrowly avoiding still more financial disaster crap.
on top of it all, my daughter called yesterday to inform me that her intended trip to visit the third week of this month is called off. but i’m glad she called rather than just standing me up. so progress, i suppose.
i have decided to continue as if the financial bullshit isn’t happening. it’s the only way to keep me from popping a gasket completely over it. the list of things that ‘must be done’ just keeps getting longer and that angers me as well. i’m sitting here ready to move on getting things done and can’t for this stupidity.
ah. reminder. the list for now:
– state license, tag, and title transfer
– m.b. loan
– taxes
– truck maintenance (hope it doesn’t break down before i can get it fixed)
– camden
– clif in la follow-up
hopefully this is all of it for now.
in closing, there are a few of you who have gone radio silent. fully understandable all things considered and especially since i’ve pretty much told you to keep away for now. forgive me the inconsistency of saying i miss you and wish you were not so quiet. i keep hoping there will be more than one person in my life willing to brave the cave, so to speak.
ah, phil… so glad you know me so well. i think you may well be the only person i know who can just walk right in and say precisely the right thing to keep my claws out of you. love and hugs to ya. thank you for being here. i swear, i just don’t know what i would do without you in my life.