my neighbor (the gay one) woke me about half an hour ago. apparenlty, she knocked on my door. but i did not consciously hear that. i was sleeping. what i ‘woke up to’ was the sound of her talking to my cats through the windows by the front door. then, of course, i had to try and figure out… was she just being social with the cats, or had she, in fact, knocked and that was what woke me?
so i dragged myself to the door and opened it and asked her, ‘did you knock?’ and she said that yes, she had. she asked me had i been meditating. i had to laugh, but i kept it internal. you see, i realized at that moment that i had on nothing but my shirt and undies.
oi. the very last thing i ever wanted to present to the gay neighbor who has a crush on me is myself, dishevelled from bed, in nothing but a shirt and undies.
she handed me a beautiful blue glass vase in which were placed a doulbe-hand sized cluster of wildflowers. ‘this is for you. i found them while i was clearing out the back yard.’
oi.
shit.
buddha girl whispered from the corner, ‘you’re going to really hurt her feelings if you don’t accept them.’
the pit snarled, ‘riiiight. and you’re gonna really make her think she has a chance in fucking hell if you do take them.’
what to do?
naturally buddha girl won out. she wanted to come in and see the new kitten. of course.
we sat and talked a bit and she invited me to take a nature walk with her and see the landmark for which this area (White Cross) was named.
i was just about convinced it would be possible to do so without giving her ideas when she added, “it should be fine. i mean, there are ticks and such, but we can do a tick check on one another when we get back, so no biggie.”
my mind fastened on the words ‘tick check’ and memory flashed back to two weeks ago when she showed up on my doorstep asking help with a tick removal. the damn thing was latched on just under her brastrap on her back.
a tick check would essentially involve full nudity and a lot more trust than i have for her.
i declined. i figured this was as good a test as any. decline and see if she lets it go or pushes at it, because pushing would mean that casual mention wasn’t so very casual… and that would give me insight on things unspoken.
let’s just say i’ll not be taking any invitations from her in future, no matter how tempting they are.
i’m glad she knocked though, i didn’t need to sleep this day away.
oh. obligatory daka and dakini image. i’ll likely be doing this for a while until the ‘new’ wears off. 🙂 yeah, an obligatory shot of the flowers, too.