it hits like a flush. it’s warm like it. you can feel it spread in the body and it skates up the spine (or is it down from?) like electricity.
i decided middle of last week to cut access to this place as the last step in setting aside the married friend who was trying to keep me like a doll in a box. today, while doing maintenance on the blog, i see him arrive and try to log in.
the very nerve. not a peep since the 15th, and then only to drop me like a fucking hot potato, and he shows up expecting…. EXPECTING mind you…. to be able to blithely log in and ‘get up to date’ on what’s happening with me.
because, as you know, writing me was never as convenient. nor calling. nor any of the other things someone who actually cares to interact with you would consider to do.
gah. GAH I SAY! it pisses me off. you know why.
that’s what brought on the flush. i know it starts in the mind, but i swear it felt like it came out of the ground and ran UP me.
what revs me the msot is the notion of him just… forgetting me for the entire fucking week and then, today, at work, between meetings or because he’s bored… “oh, i should see what bonnie’s up to…’
i have two words for it. even as i write these many to get to them.
fuck. you.