i’ll know today if i have this job or not. i’ve dreamt both outcomes, then daydreamt them again upon waking. comfortably numb; i’ve worn myself out fretting for it. i can do nothing but wait.
the other direct hire position has poofed, so if this one doesn’t come through, i’m back to square one and, after a month of being here, that’s not good. but i’ll cross that bridge if/when i get to it.
i also dreamt last night about the studio with the water view again. no idea where that place is, but i would sure like to find it. and then, of course, find both that i can afford it and they will actually rent to me. heh.
as much as i appreciate my friend and having this space to land in, i’m looking forward to getting my own space. mostly because i feel very acutely how much of an imposition i am, and what my presence is in relation to his usual routines and interests.
it speaks volumes that he was willing to do this. i’m already considering the thank you i intend to give to him when things are settled. i know just what to do and i can’t wait to see his face. heh.
not much more, really. i’m too nervous to think about other things and, in many way, i feel as if this is a crossroads.
i am very thankful of the past years of practive in this moment. it’s the only thing keeping me sane…. and not just as a result of the job stuff. (wry grin)