o’dark thirty

i’m awake. instantly laughing because that’s the phrase a buddhist will use to indicate being enlightened and i am surely NOT that. but it is 3:34am and i am not sleeping, so… here, a picture playing with settings in photobooth!

i had a dream about pitching an idea to the idea fair at work. i am signed up to do so and they will be video-taping. i have choice of presenting or just talking. guess which i’m going to do? (you should know.)

anyway, i dreamt of it. i already know precisely how i’m approaching it. interesting stuff.

in other news, i have to request today that either a certain group i’m mentoring get an analyst to do some work or that some of my time be allocated to doing so. which will be interesting as i really don’t have the time to spare.

in still other work related news, i’m finding that my potential new boss/director is a child of chaos and enjoys (enjoys!) creating friction within his team as the means to push them to higher plateaus of excellence. it doesn’t phase me, i’m the eye of any storm into which i am thrown, but it pains me somewhat to see how others of the team are struggling with it.

it also somewhast mitigates my initial admiration for this person. those who require conflict to instigate change generally lack inner balance. i know that sounds horribly judgmental, but it is what i find to be true. change is a natural outcropping of existence. period. you don’t have to force it, you don’t have to seek it out, you don’t have to fight for it. believe me. it’s going to come to you, like it or not, throughout your life.

that’s no different for business than it is personally. of course, it often seems to me that people will fight change in business far longer and more vehementally than they will in their personal lives…. no, wait, i am incorrect. hrm. it is the same. hah. zen moment.

there is no difference.

meh. i count it my lot in life to be the balancing factor in any situation. overbalancing at need to keep the true cycle of balance/imbalance happening. not chaos, but the ongoing struggle between order and chaos. either one alone is pointless, one requires the other to be truly effective, and any point at which one or the other is positioned to gain true ascendancy is, effectively, risk of death (life without change is unlife, is death).

is that enough weaving back and forth for you? it is for me. i’m going to try and go back to sleep… but i suspect i’m up for the day. meh.

meh. meh. meh. meh.

(cat story here. another time. meh. heh.)

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