i struggle with feeling alone or lonely, usually both.
i struggle with feeling as if i’m not really welcome, but someone is too nice to say so directly.
i struggle with feeling as if i have very few people in the world who genuinely care for me.
i struggle with feeling as if everyone i know could, at any moment and for no obvious reason, just leave me behind.
i struggle with feeling as if, no matter how smart or good a person i am, there is no man who can or will care for me if i’m not ‘hot’.
i struggle with feeling as if the things i do to make others feel good about themselves or their lives is never really appreciated.
i struggle with feeling as if i’m never going to have a real partner in life.
i struggle with feeling as if, no matter how well work and finances go, i’ll never feel content.
i struggle with feeling angry at everyone because it seems no one is willing to really let me lean for more than the most fleeting of moments.
i struggle with understanding other people but wishing i didn’t because i feel like shit if i don’t put them ahead of me and i feel like shit if i do.
i struggle with feeling like i’m always the one giving in or compromising.
i struggle with feeling angry because i’d like to see others compromise a little (lie… a LOT) more with me for a change.
i struggle with not enabling passive aggressive behavior and tamping down the urge to fucking bitchslap people who use that shit on me.
i bit my tongue a lot more than i used to, and i’m not sure it’s such a good thing.
meh. i’m going to bed.