i can’t decide what to entitle this. i’m starting off by laughing at the pain. seriously. one of those ‘ah, fuck, this hurts.’ but laughing as i’m saying it things. this FUCKING HURTS. the pain meds only put me to sleep. i’m tired of being knocked out, so i’m not taking the meds.
so this fucking hurts.
and i’m laughing.
why?
because the thing that hurts most are the TEETH STILL LEFT IN MY FUCKING HEAD.
the fucking irony of it. that i’m sitting here, only thirteen teeth left in my head, and the fuckers have the audacity to hurt more than the gums healing up around them.
oh god, i wish i could rip them out now. i swear it.
the humor is dark, but man, this is funny.
i’ve never been so glad to lose parts of my body in my entire life. i have waited damn near thirty years to reach the day when it would be ‘acceptable’ to lose my fucking teeth. they have plagued me my entire life.
plagued, i’m telling you.
the lowers are knitting together nicely. the uppers should be knitted by monday when i return to work. i’ve been watching them heal around the membranic material the dentist provided to replace the lost bone. very odd looking stuff, but it seems to be accepted readily enough. reminds me of the gel-forms they used on my hemaphealic first husband when he broke his nose — they had to give his body something to ‘start with’ because his blood was missing one of the required pieces for clotting.
meh. i disgress.
the last twenty four hours, i’ve refused to take pain medication. i needed to see how i felt without it and i needed to see if i wanted to take monday or later off to insure full healing.
i’ve taken a very hard financial hit due to being contractor through this holiday closure at work. next payroll doesn’t arrive until the 14th and that’s only if i work a full week the 5th through the 9th. so you can see why i’m pondering.
on the upside, all but the cell bill is paid already (thank goodness for having had a small buffer).
i’m considering taking an extra week off. i have to decide today because i have to communicate to my directors.
as much as i hate it, i think i’m going to have to do so. i really cannot function in pain and i don’t want to try and be professional/nice/normal when my mouth is silently screaming murder like it is right now.
bleh. fucking bleh. of course you realize this post is about me talking this through and making up my mind. and by this point, it is obvious that i’m going to need the additional week.
well. good to know now. i’m going to talk it over with the roomie just for a reality check and will make the calls later today.
i suppose i was a tad overly optimistic on the healing time. on the other hand, it’s healed considerably well for the time that’s lapsed. meh. ok. ok. decision made.
fuck. maybe i can work from home here and there. =/