Found elsewhere and brought here because I enjoy good humor and this definitely fits. Wish the piece had attribution. If you know who created this, please let me know. I believe in giving credit where due.
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US Democracy Server: Patch Day
Version 44.0
President
* Leadership: Will now scale properly to national crises. Intelligence was not being properly applied.
* A bug has been fixed that allowed the President to ignore the effects of debuffs applied by the Legislative classes.
* Drain Treasury: There appears to be a bug that allowed loot to be transferred from the treasury to anyone on the President’s friends list, or in the President’s party. We are investigating.
* Messages to and from the President will now be correctly saved to the chat log.
* Messages originating from the President were being misclassified as originating from The American People.
* A rendering error that frequently caused the President to appear wrapped in the American Flag texture has been addressed.
Vice President
* The Vice President has been correctly reclassified as a pet.
* No longer immune to damage from the Legislative and Judicial classes.
* The Vice President will no longer aggro on friendly targets. This bug was identified with Ranged Attacks and the Head Shot ability.
* Reveal Identity: this debuff will no longer be able to target Covert Operatives.
* Messages to and from the Vice President will now be correctly saved to the chat log.
* A rendering bug was affecting the Vice President’s visibility, making him virtually invisible to the rest of the server. This has been addressed.
Cabinet
* There was a bug in the last release that prevented the Cabinet from disagreeing with the President, which was the cause of a number of serious balance issues. This bug has been addressed, and we will continue to monitor the situation.
Judiciary
* Many concerns have been raised regarding balance issues in the Supreme Court. This system is maintained on a different patch schedule, and will require longer to address.
* A large number of NPCs in the Judiciary were incorrectly flagged “ideological.” We are trying to identify these cases and rectify this situation.
Homeland Security
* Homeland Security Advisory System: We have identified a bug in this system that prevents the threat level from dropping below Elevated (Yellow). The code for Guarded (Blue) and Low (Green) has been commented out. We are testing the fix and hope to have it in by the next patch.
* Torture: This debuff is being removed after a record number of complaints.
* Item: Large Bottle of Water is incorrectly generating threat with TSA Agents when held in inventory. We are looking into the issue.
* Asking questions about Homeland Security was incorrectly triggering the Chain-Jingoism debuff.
Economy
* Serious on-going issues with server economy are still being addressed. We expect further roll-backs, and appreciate your help identifying and fixing bugs. We can’t make these fixes without your help.
PVP
* Reputation with various factions are being rebalanced. The gradated reputation scale was erroneously being overwritten by the binary For Us/ Against Us flag.
Quests
* The” Desert Storm” quest chain was displaying an erroneous “Mission Accomplished” message near the beginning of the chain.
* The quest chain that begins with “There’s no Cake like Yellow Cake” and terminates with “W-M-Denied” has been identified as uncompletable, and has been removed.
Reagents
* Many recipes that currently call for Crude Oil can now be made with Wind, Solar, Geothermal and Ethanol reagents. We hope to roll out even more sweeping changes in the next patch.
Events
* The “Axis of Evil” event is drawing to a close. Look forward to the “Rebuilding Bridges” event starting in January.