I find that “emotional logic” is not a man’s strong suit. I guess this will not come as a surprise to many others, but it does surprise me. Mildly, anyway. When considering a relationship, my base premise/assertion is as follows:
When two people like one another and are considering a relationship with one another, they need to spend time together to learn about one another so as to determine if or how well they complement one another.
If the above is true, then it stands to reason that, under the circumstances of dating or entering a relationship, one would find the new couple trending toward spending more time together, yes?
So what does it mean when this does not happen? Or when one of the people is unwilling (not unable, mind you) to do so?
From where I sit, it very simply means that the person is disinterested in said relationship at best, or is only interested in the most casual of relationships; with no long term interest in commitment.
So the above is, essentially, the statement I made to the person with whom I have been attempting to establish a relationship.
They actually agreed that I made a good point. They were, however, unable/unwilling to actually conceed that point or to admit that, in our situation, the conclusion was applicable.
This, to me, indicates a dissonance. Whatever the cause of it, there is no progress to be had while it is in play.
I asked this person to at least consider making a minor adjustment to their priorities to incorporate me. They do not wish to do so. Actually, they initially asked for time to think about it (which I was happy to agree to grant), but, by the end of our lunch, they had already decided not only were they unwilling to do so, they expressed to me that, in their opinion, I was being “too demanding” for the timeframe in which we were dating (since October 28th).
Seeing as I disagree with both the concept that asking for more time is “being demanding” as well as the notion that only seeing someone once or twice a week, only in my home, and only to bed down is, by any stretch of the imagination, “a relationship”, there was very little to do other than put a halt to it.
They told me as we stood by our respective cars that, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Which brought fully home just how far apart we really are on the matter of what we want, need, or are willing to settle for in the context of a relationship.
I knew from the first week that this person did not have an interest in devoting time to a relationship. I also knew that when it came to it, this was not going to change. So, in the end, it’s entirely self-inflicted.
Which is why my response could only be, “No, actually, if you change YOUR mind, you know where to find ME.”
But I forgot to tell him I won’t be waiting for him to do so. That’s for the best, however, as such a thing should not need saying, should it?
Mea culpa, mea culpa, prudentia doctus, fin.