some time ago, i purposed to do a series of contemplation on the eightfold path. life decided to jump up and snarl the traces for a time and i did not proceed as planned. i am doing so.
this is the second of what will eventually be eight posts, upon the eightfold path as outlined in the Buddhist tradition: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration.
as with much of Buddhism, the appearance of these paths are initially seen as simple. almost childishly so. but upon closer consideration, they open themselves to a depth and intensity that is awe-inspiring. it is this that draws me again and again to think upon them, they are like a favorite path by a favorite lake… where walking only further highlights the means by which any future walkings will be more enjoyed for not having to strain to see the outline of it.
Right Intention is defined as the effort of making consistent, ethical choices; to consider both why one considers an act, and how that act may or may not affect others.
it is a thing comprised of three aspects:
1 – renouncing – to resist that which causes clinging (desire, want, etc.),
2 – good will – to insure that the act is founded in a sincere interest in creating benefit, avoiding actions that spring from anger or aversion.
3 – harmlessness – to insure that the act is lacking in cruelty, violence, or aggressiveness; that it is based wholly in compassion.
obviously, those things that contain any aspect of benefit to self are excluded. as are those acts which arise from the ‘common’, ‘human’ emotions which range from envy to jealousy to pettiness to pride and so forth.
but it runs a lot deeper. in fact, the more one considers it, the more one begins to realize the manner in which all actions birth some manner of reaction… and that it is impossible to gauge just how far the ripples of an act of wrong intent will travel, or who will suffer for it.
the first reaction here is something of a sinking, lost feeling. being unable to see to the end of all paths, and being able to see but scant millimeters in any moment (when not blinded by ignorance all together), it seems a futility but for the hopefulness of the consideration itself.
there’s nothing quite like really getting a long, hard look at just how human you are to make you feel completely despairing.
i take a short break here…
…because writing that last makes me cry. not because i’m hopeless (although i often feel i am), but because thinking about how many completely thoughtless, acts of wrong intent i have set loose in the world over the years have caused and may well still be causing suffering all around me just lands like a ton of bricks.
when you finally start even thinking about wanting to really benefit, this kind of realization almost makes you feel like you’ve mucked it up so bad there’s no hope of ever correcting it.
but, of course, that’s just ego. and it’s stupid attachment to a past that is no more. how insidious it is! how clever, too. the interesting thing about this is starting to see the little tricks that ego plays trying to rationalize, trying to justify, trying to avoid things and especially trying to avoid more than intellectualizing the matter.
but Right Intent isn’t escapable. the day’s backchannel has been filled with all kinds of flips and twists trying. i grimace, but make the admission. and admit as well that it is completely unavoidable unless i intend to snarl myself up in still more aversion and delusion.
er. no thanks.
so. ok. Right Intent. here. now. and in every moment i draw breath.
intimidating thought. i know how human i am.
as soon as that thought lands, it passes. hah. maybe this pitiful human can learn… no more tricks, eh? ‘just do it’ and let mindfulness and practice be the guardians of it all.
pride. ego. bah. bah. bah. oh sure, let’s get right to it. gonna kick it’s butt. yessirree, bob.
man. human indeed.
but, some small comfort… without pride or ego at all, just noting it, i begin to see the wisdom in all the reiteration and attentiveness to practice. after all, how many years did it take to train my mind to do nothing? to not think? to ‘go with the flow of samsara?’
just beginning to get a fuzzy look at what is really happening here. what this is going to mean, what it is going to change. i have to admit, there’s part of me what wants very much to say, ‘Not This Life’. (oh boy.)
but there’s something here that won’t let me turn this loose. can’t really define it. it’s that whole ‘coming home’ feeling again… and it’s strong enough that the ego and fear really don’t stand much of a chance.
which is different, interesting, and … kind of nice.
that whole pride of no pride thing is going to take a beating in this. and ego is already standing there with that shocked ‘i don’t believe it’ look.
oddly, i’m reminded of my grandmother. a very specific memory. the house we were in had somehow gotten infested with yellowjackets. i was standing in the closet, being allergic to them.
she was chasing them out with a broom. brave lady. they don’t take kindly to aggression. but i was watching her… and she had this fully absorbed look on her face… she didn’t care that she might be stung. she didn’t care that she might knock something over in the house. she was focused utterly on getting them out of the house without killing them… and without having them find me.
that’s kind of the mindset, i suppose. get all of this mess cleared without hurting someone else in the process.
talk about challenging.