” There are moments when one feels free from one’s own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable; life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only Being. ” – Albert Einstein
i’ll write of this later. were i to do it now, i would be late for a commitment. not going to happen. it is recorded.
more later. promise. *smile*
… much later indeed, like 3am later. but back, with more, as promised.
i often take a nap before the weekly gatherings so i am alert and refreshed to enjoy those who arrive. they have gotten to the point where they will literally run until 4 or 5 am if i do not end them… and people remain though i know they are tired. so of late, i do not let them go beyond midnight, or if they do, i make my own departure then so those who remain because i am there will not feel obligated.
anyway… about the dream.
i was sitting on a mountainside. the flora was recognizable, so it was within the united states. but it was as high as i’d ever been upon a mountain and i had the feeling i was somewhere out west. possibly seattle.
the day was brisk, with autumn swirling in ochers and rich oranges, in crimsons and ambers that dipped and twirled around me. it was very much a scene of beauty… leaves and grasses and trees and the wind was a soft presence that occasionally buffeted.
i was overlooking a valley. a city spread within it. from where i sat, it was a tiny thing. a layer of clouds drifted at lower altitude and obscured parts of it while lending it all something of a fairy-tale effect.
i looked down to the ground and it was then i noticed that my body wasn’t there. i smiled. it didn’t matter. in that moment, on the mountainside, i was everything and nothing at all. i could feel the pulse of every heart, and our breath was in unison.
i sat there a time, simply being, no thought, no need of thought, secure and empty and perfected in the moment as it was/is/was/is. eventually, i looked up and as i did, i followed my ‘gaze’ and began rising.
as the valley, the mountain, the area, the coast, the country, the continent, the world dropped away still i did not have any thought. observing and unaffected, a certain deep, abiding peace that was like … well… there is no describing it.
planets dropped away, galaxies appeared, only to shrink and fade and fall away… still, nothing but the moment, and still peaceful.
eventually there was nothing left to see… nothing before me, nothing behind me, everything all around me, inside me, both at once and not at all. no me. all me. all.
vision as a sense faded. there was only nothing/everything. mind itself unraveled slowly, tendrils expanding and becoming nothing/everything.
then, suddenly, a pulse. a slow and silky ripple. then another. pause. breath. then another.
the sense of the rhythmic spasmic pulsing was what woke me. and the first thing i thought, before i even opened my eyes, was, ‘i have just seen it all… and it is nothing.’