nettles_of_voices.mp3
archival. a reminder of nettles and those who wish to set them.
Subject: Re: ping…pop….boom
From: “Fenix”
Date: Thu, January 11, 2007 12:47 am
To: “*****”
Nicely done, ****. There’s only one, tiny difference… it’s called intent.
Traditionally, eternally, ***** and ***** have assumed mine. Never asked, never granted the benefit of the doubt, never cared to do so. I see that is a trend that continues, and ripples outward as all things do.
For what it’s worth, I had that moment of wanting to do the same… when you showed up, when you beelined for my profile, mixing my words, smiling hello and welcome.
I chose to give you the benefit of the doubt. I chose not to assume your intent.
Perhaps you might ask ‘why’… someday… when the moment comes in which it occurs to you that perhaps… just perhaps… there really is a difference… and maybe, just maybe… the fear and anger of two… that sends a stranger to do this thing… that can justify the doing, is quite a bit different indeed than the struggle and effort that happens here to simply cope with the sheer level of venom and malice being delivered in response to what has ever been the sincerest and most tender wish to care and aid.
What words I write and record, they do not exist to hurt others. They never have. They are very precisely as I state — lessons for learning — me to myself… striving, struggling, failing so many times as humans are wont to do. If others torment themselves for it, by it, with it, where lies the fault?
Things are not always as they seem, *****. And almost always, they are most unlike how they seem when one is most convinced that one knows how they are…
Thank you for the lesson. And thank you for the reminder that I am no less human than anyone else. Lessons arrive constantly in life, but it takes willingness to learn them.
The shock, hurt, and tears I freely give to you. Deliver them as the trophies they are intended to be. May those who receive them take delight in them.
I dedicate them specifically to such tender, compassionate thoughts as those that convinced you this was a worthy effort. May they be the sweet return that is sought, to know the arrow reaches the target, to know there is blood, to know that in the wish to harm and hurt, there is success.
For all it is an intent I have never held, I recognize it when I see it, and I commend you on the deftness of its delivery. Congratulations and very well done. And in it, take yet another lesson for which to thank you, for I will never wish or want to become adept in this… for all it would seem there are those who will eagerly continue to judge otherwise.
Fare well. Be well. I wish most for you that the universe keep you safe and protected from the poisons floating in your clear water. Despite all the ignorance that I stagger under in every moment, of the rare few things I can say I know, I do know that there is clear water in you. Just as there is in us all. Even *****. Even *******. Even me.
Namaste.