the nice thing about the generic ‘you’ is that it really can apply to all the ‘you’s’.
i miss you. i miss the feeling you were there… here… present as in care to be so.
i miss the sense that no matter what happened, we’d always be glad to hear from one another.
i miss the times when i could say, ‘this is sure to pass’ and you would automatically say, ‘no, this will last, even if at distance’ and i could believe you.
i miss the way you always remembered my birthday.
i miss how you were a ‘just because you can’ person, too.
i miss knowing i could pick up the phone, pop a ping over email, or zing a chat your way and know i’d hear back.
i miss the feeling that you knew i was a good person.
i miss the feeling that knowing you were a good person made you smile.
i miss the feeling of your hug, and the way you always gave that one, extra squeeze before letting go. you used to say it was ‘just in case i never get to hug you again’ and i was always so thankful for that care.
i miss the feeling of knowing anyone in this moment that cares like you did.
i miss the feeling that i could count on you to check in because you always knew how i’d wonder if you didn’t.
i miss the feeling that you didn’t mind it when i wasn’t perfect.
i miss the feeling that i could really fuck it all up badly and you would forgive me.
i miss how no matter how bad it got, you were always willing to be there and how you knew without ever doubting it that i was just as willing.
i miss the feeling of being understood.
i miss the feeling that no matter what happened, or where i was, we could always turn to polaris and know the other would be there, waiting.
i miss you.