five things that make me wish i weren’t so fucking observant…. and five things that i wish i could forget:
if i weren’t so damned observant, i wouldn’t be…
1) noticing the appearance of a ‘new friend’ shortly before the big speech on ‘being friends’
2) noticing the friend who said they would ‘think about it and let me know’ hasn’t said a word since
3) noticing someone said they were going to call and, as usual, didn’t
4) noticing the fact that saying i’m not going to be the one to do all the reaching anymore just means there is silence
5) noticing that noticing doesn’t seem to mean a thing to anyone but me
if i could find a way to forget, i wouldn’t be…
1) thinking about someone’s birthday tomorrow, and the things i obtained and then, threw out — because they’d only consider them trash anyway
2) thinking about a certain ranch
3) hoping the friend in canada is doing better than the silence implies
4) wondering if this will be the year it finally happens
5) writing stupid ‘five things’ lists because it means i’m not posting more detail than anyone cares to know