here’s some humor for you, albeit of a dark sort.
have you ever noticed that to say the words ‘never’, or ‘ever’, or ‘forever’ is to insure whatever you mention them in relation to is all but destined to rise up in the not-too-distant future juuuust long enough for you to laugh at yourself for thinking those buffering words could possibly work?
i had one of those moments today. actually, i have them all the time, i’m sure… but i noticed this one. heh.
i have finally decided to stop kicking myself over who goes or stays. was thinking about it in the middle of muddling through the various snapping twines and echoes of footsteps. i decide that it’s rather like foolishness to continue waiting for folks who demonstrate all too consistently how little they think of you.
but it’s one of those braided things, you know? a strand of pensiveness, a strand of anger, a strand of puzzlement, etc. i’ve been sitting here unraveling those braids and taking a moment to separate the strands that are enjoyable and sustaining while i set the ones that bring only discomfort or angst into the fire. let them be something other than this….
but enough of that.
in other news! cryptic announcements and other half-revealed things! heh.
the sage decision to email myself certain records has proven itself. the appeal is won and finally, that chapter of history is closed. now it is only to wait for the arrival of the settlement and decide how best to invest it. i permit myself a small smile of satisfaction. for all that some historical abilities have been set to dust, it remains that every case to date is won. i suppose if one must fight, fighting to win is not such a bad thing.
on the work front, things go exceedingly well. new directions are beginning to show signs of fruition and i am looking forward to delivering the proof of concept well before the deadline. the enjoyment of ‘above and beyond’ is surpassed only by the enjoyment of actually being appreciated for it… for a change. it is too early to say, but perhaps this continue long enough to shore up certain long over-due things. i am cautiously hopeful.
at home, the trend away from the virtual continues, for all that certain efforts receive dedicated focus. i have decided to give a little more attention to a side project that had lapsed over the last few months and am looking forward to seeing it come online. add to this that the first, niggling whispers of what might be readiness are bubbling to the surface back in ‘la brea’ and i’m pondering a certain set of sketches and outlines that have miraculously been retained on paper.
elsewhere, the swell of Focus subsides and in its wake, i find an unexpected set of possibilities. i ponder with quiet, mindful devotion the idea that this particular set of circumstances manifest. the sense of that same crossroads is heavy in this moment and i think this time, i’m not going to make the same mistakes. it is a good feeling, even as it seems rather poignant. but since dissection won’t help, i let the thought rest and say no more.
in still other areas, a certain recurrence is noted, but in this moment it finds nothing but quiet puzzlement. i no longer have need to understand it. a shrug and a sigh, i clear the counters with little more than a ‘whatever…’ said.
finally — an unexpected grin for the inquiry with regard to the lost pages series. the fascination with mythos is never far away, but i am no more interested in churning them out on command than ever. still, it is nice to have some level of confirmation that the efforts are intriguing to more than myself.
that’s it for now… time to read a book and curl up with the cats. hope your night goes well and as always, thanks for the visit.