insomnia

i’ll very likely regret not finding a hammer.

yup. you guessed it. here i am. again. ‘for no apparent reason’.

i used to vacillate between anger and weariness most times. but not anymore.

now, it’s gotten to the point where i don’t get much of anything ‘over it’. just sigh, nod, yeah, ok. and wait it out.

funny how things change. even the spasms of anger aren’t as heated as they were. mostly just a frustrated annoyance. why the heck bother to send it along when you know you’re never going to manage more than doing so? when you know all you’re doing is sending hurtfulness and you’re just not willing to manage any different?

such silly arguments. i have them with myself as if i’m having them with the one doing this. like there’s any answer in it. but i reckon you work with what you have available.

it still boils down to the same thing. only so much blood any heart has to give. beyond that, it’s just done.

done is done, remember? irony. i used to wait for you to understand. now i wait for you to forget.

but see? i’m the one who’s forgetful… i keep forgetting you enjoy the pain.

keep your stones. i send them back to you with two words only, whispered not so much for quiet as for sincerity:

no more.

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