you know what makes me angry? being right. i hate being right. i especially hate being right when someone tells me they will never x, y, or z… and i tell them the circumstances or reasons they would very precisely do x, y, or z… and they swear blue faced they would NEVER…. and then… guess what? they do.
“i would never do that to you.” is the biggest fucking lie in the universe. and i really should know by now that it is also the surest sign that is precisely what is going to happen. you’d think having had it said and made a lie so many times, i’d be used to it… but oh no… i just keep on believing it like it’s ever going to be different.
“i’ll never turn my back on you. you’ve been such a friend to me. how could i?”
yeah. right. tell it to the silence.
my fault, of course. after all, i believed it.
i won’t bother to type out the rest. suffice to say whatever you can infer is being said at this moment is very likely correct.but most of all i am snarling for the stupidity of letting myself believe it would ever be other than like this.
thanks for the lesson. i’ll see if i can remember it this time. i’ll put it on a sticky note and set it right next to the one that reads, “no matter how much they protest, no matter how much they swear undying friendship, no matter how much you need them to be there — if a piece of ass comes into the frame, you better believe you’re about to get the amnesia treatment.”
i spent the last week or so kicking myself around this blog, telling myself to prepare for it. telling myself and the world i was prepared.
hoping to be proven wrong.
i am very tired of being right in this.
sigh.