lately, i find i’m either writing about something that has me bothered or something that has me angry. the entries where i’m creating or musing do not seem as common. this doesn’t concern or worry me, but i do note it.
cycles being as they are, i chalk it up to the recent dustups and look forward to it passing.
i am mildly surprised that i am not more upset/angry about the “friendship” gone sour out west. i think finding out it was a situation of playing both sides against the middle has made the difference. after all, it’s one thing to think someone has “simply” terminally misunderstood you and quite another to find out they were manipulating with deliberation.
once upon a time i would have been hurt for what might have been and isn’t. i suppose i’m learning. in this moment, i’m relieved it was revealed early and clearly. and very thankful indeed to have known precisely where the boundaries were in relation to the oracle trope and what was needed.
though i admit, i shuddered briefly to think how it might have gone had i not had all of 2006 to teach me the difference between lipservice/action and how to better distinguish the presence of markers indicating a lack of truthfulness.
anyway… the job seems to be entirely practical. for once, i’m not ‘overly excited’ nor am i ‘overly idealistic’. it’s going to be work. and lots of it. and most of it not of a sort to modified. there’s comfort in it. just work. heh. for a change.
my internet time has been somewhat restricted these last weeks. outside of brief passes to post here, not much activity at all. i haven’t missed it as much as i thought i would. though i admit, it will be nice to get the g5 here and get some semblance of normalcy running.
add to this, i want my pajamas!! oh, how i regret not bringing more than three changes of clothing. but… it’s close enough i can drive in and back without wearing myself out. perhaps this weekend even.
my friend is, as has been all along, marvelous and enjoyable. i cannot tell you how nice it is to just ‘be’ with people who are not constantly either trying to slap a label onto things or acting all weirded out suspicious. really highlights and contrasts things. which is helpful for many reasons.
add to this the widening of my circle of acquaintances and local ambiance and though things are tight and slightly pressurized for now, i am much more relaxed than i thought i’d be. so, relief there as well. very nice.
anyway… not a lot ‘in the head’ tonight, and what is set here in this moment mostly just chatter… hope you’re well and the things you need are readily available. if not, i hope this changes for you soon.
be well and feel loved. (hug)