there are three things that strangers always say about me, and people who have met me never do.
people who have never met me are forever saying that i think i’m better than them.
people who have never met me are forever saying that i think i’m always right.
people who have never met me are forever saying that i’m self-important.
people who have met me always laugh their asses off at the idea that the above things happen. then they are angry and say things like ‘obviously, they’re idiots.’ but i begin to suspect it is a combination of things, most of which have to so with internal issues and things like low self esteem and cultural conditioning that cause so many strangers to reach those conclusions while no one who knows me ever does.
looking around at the world, it seems to me most people live in a state of anticipating offense. so filled with self-loathing and so lacking in esteem that they naturally assume everyone else thinks of them the same way.
so when they encounter someone who is blunt and doesn’t seem to be paying appropriate homage to etiquette, they assume it is done with ill intent and indicates that i think i’m ‘better’ than them.
and when they encounter someone who says ‘no, i am NOT obligated to grant anything to you. if you want something from me, earn it.’ they assume it means i think i’m self-important.
and when they set forth their opinions and i do not immediate adopt them or say they are more important than my own, they assume that i think i’m always right.
in every instance, they’re telling themselves what they fear most from others… and they are happy to embrace it as being true. i suspect this is because it is perceived to be easier than considering any other option. plus it nets them the benefit of being able to think themselves ‘better’ and ‘important’ and ‘right’…. which is quite interesting and ironic, not to mention hypocritical.
oh well. it seems most people are content to be quite thuggish in their pursuit of psychological support these days. and it seems the studies recently released indicating an alarming rise in narcissistic behaviors in western society are not without heavy anecdotal support.
there are still some segments of culture where this rampant and almost vampirish psychology is not prevalent, but not many. which is why, most times, i just prefer to stay home. i come to the regrettable conclusion that most people just are not worth the effort it takes to convince them you’re not trying to hurt them.
i wish i did not feel so convinced, but people are quite good at managing it.