this is not going to be a nice, happy post. you have been warned.
someone really needs to educate people about how easily their activities may be traced.
someone really needs to help folks understand that being mindful is never a bad idea, particularly given the preceeding sentence.
someone needs to tell my son that if he’s going to spout bile and anger and venom somewhere, he might want to consider surfing around a bit more before coming to this site to perform his daily reading… otherwise, someone might actually see the entry in the logs and, curious, reverse the referral to find out how the heck they got a link through from the ‘Something Awful’ forums, only to find something like this….
I’ll never understand it, either. I mean, my own biological mother did this, and she hasn’t grown up one bit in the past 25 years.
Yeah, I’ve had brief communications with her, but she likes to pretend to the world that she’s this great pillar of humanity after she disowned me and raised my half-sister (who is so fucking paranoid of everybody that she wants nothing to do with me) to be a complete and total bitch with psychological issues from here to the fucking Moon.
you want to know why i don’t choose to associate with you? just return yourself to your quote, above.
i’ve had enough of this kind of dysfunctional shit from people who should have been family. i do not need it from you. you have had your chance and utterly blown it for now with this manner of bizarre and hateful behavior. sorry, daniel, i just don’t DO this kind of dysfunction anymore.
i would very much like to think it possible that somehow, someday, we might overcome the hate and anger your “parents” gave to you. i’ve waited a long time for the chance… but i cannot do it alone and you show absolutely no signs of being interested, let alone willing, to do more than things like this.
i know what it is to be angry. and i know what it is to feel as if i hate someone because i want them to love me so very much and they cannot. you may pretend this is the case if you need, want, and like to… but your need to believe that you are unloved is the sickness. and i do not have your cure. you do. i hope you choose to see it, find it in yourself…. some day.
the only reason you are not banned from here is that i see you have a need to read here. and i don’t mind you doing so because there are things here that will be helpful to you if you’d only do more than read them. if you can ever manage that. i am hopeful that you can.
you know good and well that you weren’t disowned. but you like to think you were because it’s the only way you have enough energy to make it through your days. right now, you are a sick, sad, angry little boy who desperately needs therapy. daniel, get help. i can’t help you because you won’t let me… but there are people who can. get help. please.
i am your mother, i do love you, but no, i’m not willing to put up with your dysfunction when it is all too clear you have no interest whatsoever in becoming a healthy man capable of leading a healthy, normal life.
i have told you all along that i knew this was inside you. you denied it. but truth comes out in the end and the only one you’re still hiding successfully from is yourself. how long will you lie to yourself, daniel? until it’s too late to do more than be alone in life? is it that important to you to be angry… that you will destroy all chances so you can feel justified? you think about what that really says, daniel. think hard on it.
next time you wonder why no one wants to be around you, why you cannot seem to keep a relationship going, or why you always wind up alone… i invite you to come back and read this quote of yours. read it until even you cannot miss what is glaringly obvious to everyone else.
i do love you. i want only the best for you, as i always have and always will. but that does not mean i have to put up with this kind of hatefulness. no one does, daniel. and the sooner you figure out the issues are yours to manage, the better off you’re going to be.
i can’t speak for my daughter, but i can say for certain that had someone said such a thing about me, the very last thing i would ever think is that they care for me. people who care about you don’t say things like this. you really should spend some time thinking about what that says, too.