popped awake from a dream that i needed to blog (previous entry) and unable now to get back to sleep. hah.
my good friend over the pond has been gently at me to do official vlogging. like… on youtube. i’m not so sure i’m interested. this blog had become a much larger presence than i ever intended. but it feels like something i should be doing so i tend it and honor it as i can.
but the notion of video/recording the manner of rantish explosions i’m prone to when frustrated or annoyed and then delivering them for the entertainment of the world seems…. wrongful. i’m examining it closely, because all things as they are, every interaction is a potential lesson. i am wondering what lesson could rest in this for me?
is it all about one taste and all my concern for wrongful acts creating rather than assuaging suffering is pride?
it is that all this thinking is distraction and were i really resting in the practice, i could do whatever, whenever, and see it as being all the same?
this obsession with rightfulness begins to underscore itself as foolishness. or is that pride and self-justification? hah. how do you know?
nevermind. i know the answer to that question. the answer is intent. what is the intent? hm. well, in relation to this, i have no intent. except perhaps making my friend smile to see me doing something because they suggested it.
i suppose so long as my intent is pure, and i can validate it as being free of ego’s concerns or cares, i’ve got free reign to do as i do.
hmmm. i consider it. most likely i’ll do something silly like wear a mask. both because it would be unexpected and because, frankly, i like the notion as an expression of the many layers humanity wears to keep themselves insulated from the world. from the experience. from being.
but what manner of mask?
decisions, decisions…..